Celebrity Picks

Celebrity Picks: Elvira

Grue loves his women, yes he does. Problem is, he scares most of them away because…ya know…he’s psychotic. However, there is one woman who doesn’t seem to mind the furball. That’s probably because like Grue, she’s a creature of the dark. In fact, she’s the Mistress of the DarkElvira.
Only the legendary horror hostess could find Grue charming.
Since that was the case, we had Grue ask her what her favorite horror film’s are. Not only did she tell us which movies, she also explained why as only she can!
Read on and learn which horror flicks give the Queen of Halloween unpleasant dreams…due to how awful they are!



#1            PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE
Ed Wood should have stuck to Plan 1 and made a Western.  Sadly, this film marks Bela Lugosi’s last performance.  Two days into the shoot, he died –  of embarrassment.  If you like grave robbers from outer space, terrible acting (Including Legendary Horror Hostess Vampiras turn as a walking towel-rack.) and special effects that are anything BUT special, this flick’s for you! This is the worst movie ever made and I’d stake my reputation on it. If I had one.


#2            MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE
What’s it about?  It’s about ninety minutes too long. And talk about a catchy title. If you still remember your high school Spanish, you’ll know that the translation of this title is Hands: The Hands of Fate. WTF?  Well, guess this is what you get when an ex-fertilizer salesman from Texas makes a film…


# 3            ATTACK OF THE 50-FOOT WOMAN
So much woman. So little plot.  I’ve seen this turkey a gazillion times and have no clue how it got its title — I mean, the chick’s only got two feet, right?  And she uses both of ’em to crush her philandering hubby. One giant step for woman-kind, two big steps back for film-making.


It’s wall-to-wall weirdness when dangerous shag carpeting goes on the rampage, vacuuming up innocent people in its’ wake.  The most terrifying  rug since John Travolta’s. This movie’s a great argument for hardwood floors.


# 5            THE KILLER SHREWS
See amazing Afghan Hounds in cheap rat masks!  Watch as nothing happens for almost two hours!! A science faux-pas that leads to a well-meaning, but nutty, professor’s lab experiment to go horribly wrong.


No, it’s not THE Beast From THE Haunted Cave.  They were too cheap to pay for the “The’s.”  Set on the ski slopes of Deadwood, this jewel’s about a drunken floozie and a mob boss who get slimed by a monster that looks like Cousin It on a bad hair day.  The most expensive thing in the movie is the liquor, which I recommend you consume in mass quantities if you want to survive this bomb.


A typical boy meets ghoul romance.  Dr. F’s little girl is a chip off the ol’ blockhead, as she does brain experiments on a new, improved monster.  Jesse James is the gunslinger who rides into the wrong movie and nearly loses his mind, literally.  This flick proves that the Old West and Horror go together about as good as an eye and a sharp stick.


This movie’s kind of like an old re-run of Gilligan’s Island, only with ten Gingers and Mary Ann’s who are into skinny-dipping, cat fights, and hot girl-on-girl action.  Oh yeah, and there’s also a killer monster spider. But who cares?



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